In 2011, I remember heading to work before 6 in the morning when a 4x4 truck crossed four lanes on the highway and headed straight for my car.
I jerked instinctively, realizing a barrier was to my left and overcorrected. From there my car slid across four lanes heading straight for a guard rail that held in traffic from a cliff. Losing complete control and seeing a streak of lights, I tried to grab the wheel but to no avail... I t-boned a car in the far lane, glass shattered, and another car came up behind me and bumped me back to the other side of the highway.
My car barely made it to the other side, completely totaled and within minutes of calling 9-1-1 and trying to kick open my door I stood crying and screaming on the side of the highway as paramedics and patrol flooded the scene.
Six years later I laid in my bed mulling through the many emotions tearing at my heart.
Between frustration, helplessness and uncertainty I cried out to God, "Comfort me! Help me understand! Where are you?" Stubbornly, I refused to move until I felt the Lord's presence or until He answered me. And He did.
Thoughts of the wreck came to my mind: instincts, overcorrecting, losing control, crying and helplessness. These things I pictured and in my mind and I knew where the Lord was going with all of this.
Before that wreck happened I remembered a song that played on the radio that morning. JJ Heller's, "Your Hands" echoed in my ears and for six years, even though the song is beautiful and comforting, I didn't want to hear it. It brought back the slew of memories aforementioned and I honestly didn't welcome or entertain the thoughts.
But God in his unmerited, divine grace led me to listen to it.
"When my world is shaking, heaven stands.
When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands.
Your hands that shaped the world are holding me; they hold me still..."
Tears filled my eyes as I felt the Lord's hand upon my heart, and my soul who knows Him well, rested in His comfort. He holds me still.
Rest in Him friends. When you don't think He's there, stubbornly wait. Ask Him to comfort you. Look for Him in His Word or possibly the fingerprints He's left in your journey of life. He'll show up. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." It's an invitation, but more than that, it's a promise.